ARRGH!!! DAMN IT!!! my idiotic internet is giving me prob again...kns the connection dunno y is damn slow today...i can keep on connect again n again but there is always the notice--the page cannot be displayed--...wat the f***...damn pissed off...kaoz...

hmmph...anyway...today juz finish my obc paper...yesh!!!...haha...1 paper down n 2 to go...hopefully everything wld be alright...meaning all those tt i memorised will come up for exams...duh...today aft our paper...we went n chill out a bit lorz...cos we end paper at 12 den we still gotta wait till 2 for the cell bio revision class...so...some of us went n play pool...wah...very the long din play pool liao...bei bei, nick, rayn, kim hui, may n i went n play pool...but hor...problem arises...

kim hui, may n i took a bus to bt timah shopping centre cos we 3 thought we all r gg to play pool there...well datz all our first place to think of to play pool...so we 3 happily take bus n reach tt place...since we reach first we decide to wait for the rest who decides they wld walk...but who noes...the 3 of them went to bt timah plaza (besides kap) instead of bt timah shopping centre( besides beauty world)...kns...so the 3 of us hv to went back to bt timah plaza n join them under the damn hot sun...kaoz...communication brk down man...kns...but ok lor...the pool quite ok...at least when i play i managed to hit the ball...

haiz....xianz...yesterday went to sch study...study frm 10 to 7.30...but i still like very scared cos i like dunno how to do the past yr papers...esp the rxns pt...haiz....den oso saw the jias i sch at the atrium studying...din join them cos oso the weather very hot so i rather stay in the library n study lorz...met zhen you in the morn so i ji tao join him n his frenz...

den bei bei came n join me at round 2.45...cos he meet rayn in sch at 3 to study mah...act thought of collecting my student card frm rayn but he din bring lorz...
(-_-)"...anyway he only reach sch at round 4.30 like tt bah...still looks the same lorz...he said he suffering frm isomnia...i 'recommended' him tt if he really cant slp den he go n study lorz...sad guy...the library was damn cold...den he lent me his sweater...ok lorz...quite thoughtful la...as usual...he's like quite funny n chirpy...cos he can even dance in the library...but if observe closely still can feel tt he is not tt as u see...well life sucks...datz wat he said...ya its true...esp gotta memorise all those sucky things...haiz

haiz. xianz. juz now study the obc until i want to go mad liao esp the pt on kreb cycle. Gosh. wat the. den juz now in the aft jj ask me if i got his obc notes. but no lorz. sad guy want to study but lost his notes. think he osso no choice gotta study wif rayn. i very the xian arh!!!

juz check the forum, so i m confirmed i hv got into the games comm. though its not the welfare comm but i still quite looking forward to the foc camp lorz. haha. hope foc camp wld come soon!

Juz now may n I study until about 6.15.we went to mac n hv dinner at mac den may asked me:do u think he noes? honestly I dunno if he noes but I remembered jo did tell me tt if he really noes bout my feelings den he really kiam pah--deserve to be beaten. anyway wat I feel is tt u can hv the freedom to like anyone but u cant force the person u like to return ur luv.

Anyway, dis morn I read 1 bk--why men dun listen n women cant read maps-- tt hv mentioned a part bout there is 3 types of emotions in the brain: lust, infatuation n attachment. well, unfortunately i m concerned bout the infatuation pt. haha. the writer says, infatuation is a stage where a person keeps popping into ur brain u cant get them out. Your brain focuses on the positive qualities of the sweetheart n ignores their bad habits.( Up till dis pt, I think it applies to my situation.)

At the infatuation stage, several powerful brain chemicals r released which cause feelings of elation. Dopamine gives the feeling of well being, phenylethylamine increases excitement levels, serotonin creates a sense of emotional stability n norepinephrine induces the feeling tt u can achieve anything. ( note: all the chemicals r wat we hv learnt in physio under nervous system n they r all neurotransmitters. so, the feeling of being in luv r juz tt u r brain washed wif neurotransmitters. lolz. so, far all these r still quite true to me.)

But infatuation is a temporary feeling lasting, on average 3 to 12 months, when most pple mistajenly define it as luv. for this pt, I m not sure if all hv happened to me r juz infatuation. but anyway, some things said r rather true. I dunno. well, we ll c if things r juz wat it hv been predicted.

now in library de discussion room...studying...obc...haiz...xianz...juz now jun jie n kim hui came n join me n may in the library...we r like studying in the library wif junius oso...den juz now jun jie very 'fan jian' lorz...act i wanna pass the two guys the money may owed kim hui for the log bk...but the two guys very 'jian' want me to throw the money to them...den dun want me to pass it to them...ok...so i throw to them...but hor....they very the stupid...cant catch probably...worst...the coins rolled to under other pple's table...so jun jie bo bian gotta crawl under other pple's table to get the coins...haha...the funny thing is he accidentally knocked his head to the table lorz...haha...poor guy...c lah...so fan jian...dun want me to pass them the coins...ben arhh...den i said gd for him so tt he won't slp again...but jun jie said he ji tao faint lorz...haha...stupid guy...haha...den aft tt i think he went back to hougang n go swimming wif rayn ba....dun want to say jun jie lorz...dunno how to zhi tong one...everytime ask him to study he want to slp...haiz...he really cannot like dis liao lorz...dunno how to think for himself one...even nick oso noe tt he gotta study...really arh...

DAmn...i think my phone line got some problems...cos now pple can't call my hse...but i can call other pple...wah lao...xianz...dunno wat happened...i think gotta call the telecom pple tml cos today sunday they r not working mah...haiz...later oso gotta go my grandma hse in holland v...den the sun is soooo scorching...how i wish it wld rain later...

yesterday i juz watched --50 first dates-- with bennie n jo...the show is not bad lorz...as usual adam sandler is really funny...haha...n those animals in the show are realli cute...ya...aft the show...we act went to taka to help ben look for a bday gift for her fren...but we cant find anything suitable...den jo suggested gg to centre pt to c the manicure template...cos the fren got long nails so she might like it...den when we r gg to reach cp...jo hv to go find her mom who's at john little...cos she's gg back wif her mom mah...haha...i knew she juz want to pian us to go to cp one...

aft we bought the template set...both ben n i want to go hme le cos nth to buy oso...den when we r gg to reach the entrance to somerset...we juz stood there n chat for nearly 20 min in the middle of the pavement...sort of obstructing the road lorz...haha...talk bout lotsa things lah...n i oso complained how long i ve waited for jo lorz...very xian...cos she was late for bout 30 min...kns...

den when i reach hme yesterday...i msg him act to remind him to bring my student card on the day of exam...but he return my msg quite late lorz...den said he lost his wallet...my first rxn was great he lost my student card n i gotta make a new one le...but later gotta noe he din place my student card in his wallet...haiz...sotong...or shall i say he's too sad to even care...

juz now gotta hv an aft nap for 2 hrs...haha...very awake now...cos i think i got a little bit of running nose so i took medicine n went for a nap...saw his blog juz now...well wat can i say???...he's a great person who can hide his feelings???...honestly...i ve got to pei fu him cos when i last saw him on dis tues he seems normal...i din realise wat he's gg thru...but it was when he left den i saw his blog tt he's hurt...no wonder he sounds so profound while talking to jiating...

well...i ve nth to comment on...i dun even noe wat to say to console him...ya letting go is not easy...cos if i knew how to let go...i wld not be in such a stupid situation...thus...i got nth to comment on...really nth...think juz gotta bury all the feelings in to the innerside of me...until the day tt i noe how to give up...

later gg to bring sis to make ic...hope today can kao dim everything...so i dun hv to go down to lavender again...den aft gg to meet jo at orchard first den most prob we r gg to watch--50 first dates--...hope tt the movie wld be nice lorz...

den juz now may, jun jie n i ate at canteen 4...den we saw mrs tang oso having lunch...she reminded may to turn up for the remedial lesson on nxt fri...wah she quite gd lorz...when may ask her to go thru the infront chapters den she said ok she wld go thru for may...den she oso got give us lolipops...cos the last lect le mah...we start the lect wif lolipops n end it with lolipops...lolz...

den he din come for lect today...wah lao...he said he wld return me my student card by today cos he sais he wld be coming...siao one arh he...w/o my library card really make my life inconvienient lorz...want to go n watch movie in the library oso cannot...xianz...today he din come oso gd...so i wldn't get so distracted liao...

Yesh!!! Finally...our ITP prj finish le...haha...its like everytime we do our prj we always miss by a bit of things tt we dun noe how to do...n dis time oso lah...but nvr mind...we juz bluff our way thru lorz...lolz...juz now did our prj in the llibrary den today i din really gotta study my cell bio...anywae rite...how to study when u r in a gp discussion room...n the noise level is power man...then somemore i still got my lappy infront of me...lolz...can't resist the temptation man...

Wah lao...tml i still hv to bring my stupid sister to go n make ic...cos yesterday when my father bring her down to lavender there...of all things she forgot to bring her birth cert...so clever arh she...then in the end i still hv to bring her to lavender again...kaoz...xian boh...

haiyo...i ve been in the library since 10.30 am le bah...think i m gg hme soon le...very xian...mayb go hme n study lorz...i realli hope i can concentrate on my studies den dun thiink of stupid things again...i mean honestly sometimes i juz cldn't bear to think of stupid things...then when i think of it...i feel damn depress...esp when things r not juz wat u hv imagined it to b...

Sometimes...i m juz impressed tt how imaginative tt i can b n how amazing my memory can be when its things related to him...for eg...last fri i pon my obc tutorial mah...den as we r gg to the library...we met jiang long...i dun noe him though he's in our LT one...but anyway he ask may if she noe wat is his no...den may gotta check her hp...i was like thinking to myself...i noe his no...i juz noe it lorz...den wat so amazing is tt i din go n memorise it...wherelse my close frens no i still gotta memorise then i can remember...i think it is really scary when i can't forget things tt r related to him...his expression...his words...occasions tt i met him not on purpose...so scary...

ya...i m realli imaginative esp i always like to imagine tt one day i can meet him on the rd...its like very fated like tt...well to my surprise...i did met him juz like wat i hv imagined...at the mrt platform at sembawang n its like pearlyn first spotted him...haha...scary rite i mean my imagination...lolz...then another so-called fated encounter is tt when i accompany jo to the jae in np...i wanted to show him to her but well...its juz tt he din join us for lunch...so ok fine...but i still not satisfied tt i m sure i can definately find him...den ofcourse can't la...den when we went to the convention centre...i met him at the entrance to the convention hall...i was like damn happy n jo n jing yun can even sense it...dis incident juz reminds me on how angela see want to look for atkash...but wait n wait still can't find him...n when u give up on finding him...he juz pops up out of nowhere...

ya...feel tt i m juz an idiot rite...cos juz can get so excited over seeing him...well i noe how incurable m i...ya...(**pearlyn can vouch for me**)...haha...its not tt i despo like tt...if i was i wld not like him again when dis semester starts...cos is juz plain stupid to be like tt...well...at least now...i think i wld not imagine soooo much le...to c him again on the streets???...dun say at the streets...now even in np...haha i dun even dare to think bout it now...cos is STUPID...ya i noe...

i juz hope...i mean i m serious...i really hope...one day...well i hope soooon i can get over this stupid thing...n i hope history wld not repeat itself again...

wah lao eh...dunno y my laptop so funny one...its like once i double click on the internet explorer...i wld get all those funny webpage lorz...dunno wat...default.home....wat the f***...its all the pop-up n all those crap...all these pop up keep coming lorz...wah lao...scare my man...den even cause my laptop to hang...kaoz...now everytime click internet explorer must double check n c if the setting for the homepage is at np page...or else all these nonscience wld keep irritate me...arrhh!!!

Arh....aft hrs of studying...finally finish until circulatory systems...haiz...i noe still got a lot chapters to go on...hmmph...now again i m in blk 23-04-03 surfing net cos since i dun hv my library card wif me...i can't book the com at the library wat...

Haiz...juz now recompile my diary entries tt i hv wrote few wks a go...as i read thru all the entries...i really fing tt i m such a big idiot lorz...kns...n i m a real big idiot...i can still remember the qn bennie post to me...--how many % do u think he likes me?--...n i haven told her my ans...i think its 0%...cos i noe...i hv the gut feeling tt he doesn't give a damn on me...n here i m on 03/04/04 n 14/04/04...was like so happy to like juz c him...to at least gotten some attention frm him...haha...wat an irony...haha...now i m really very xian lorz...

its not tt i expect anything out of it lorz...in fact i ve not thought of it since tt day in last semester when i wanted to teach him stats then he zhao wif his fren n iwas damn pissed off...pearlyn asked me who relights the sparks...i dunno the ans...but i really think its me lorz...so stupid...yi xiang qing yuan...its the one-sided thing...but its juz tt when i talk to him...i still got the feeling lorz...still felt very happy to talk to him...i once thought its over but i noe its not...haiz...juz feel tt i m real stupid...at least for bennie...she noes tt jing feng likes her...i noe nth n idun want to noe anything...

realli...felt sad now...mayb pms lah...emotional unstable...haiz...i juz...hope i wld feel better as the wk goes by...arghhhh!!!.....

yOz!!! now in the computer lab...blk 23-04-03...cos printing the schedule mah n oso the cbo notes...wah laoz...the printer kena jam...den the technician is repairing it...haiz...xianz arh...juz now find one unoccupied lab oso very difficult...

later gg to study physio lorz...haiz...think of it alredy xian liao lorz...kaoz...

yuan lai xiang nian shi zhe yang, yuan lai zi mo shi zhe yang...

Ya...juz now did my ITP...haiz...kns...can't do the enter name for the millionaire...do until very pek chek...but luckily may noe how to do...heng arh...den was tryng to figure out how to get the part wherby--you have won $1000--...tt one i oso tried until damn xian liao...haha...no choice i guess i dun hv any brain for IT...unlike daniel...

i oso finished typing the schedule for the prj le...haiz...haven got down into studying yet...i m like want to pia finish all the prj...den hopefully tml can settle down n study...haha...anywae no time liao lorz...30th is the first paper le...haiz...

den todae aft in the library...i download the msn icon until siao...haha...all the icons like very cute lorz...lolz...then the toopid rayn din keep the big pile of bks he brought to the table...den aft he borrowed my student card to borrow bk...he den zhao liao..w/o returning those bks...den nathan who is sitting behind our table thought i hv borrowed all those biochem bks...siao arh...i where got so hardworking to read all those thick bks...den hor he better not lose my things again...or else...i warn him le wat...then he threatened me back tt he wld use my card to borrow all those reference bks then dun return den make me pay all those finds...hahazz...siao...he dare meh...haha...kns...

wat the f***...i enter my the other accidental blog wif the code then dunno y still cannot change the blogskin...but when i preview hor...nth is wrong lorz...haiz...saw his blog...haiz...seems tt he still quite not over yet...din noe he so sentimental one....so unlike him...haiz...i oso cant say pple...cos...hiaz...when can i get over him???...we r so near yet so far...

yOz!!! Wahaha...Finally men...got a blog liao...yeh...nxt time i wld confirm want to blog regularly if i got to signed up broadband...(**hmmph**)...cos i still haven signed up broadband or else i can everytime online liao...haiz...
today we hv finished our cbo prac...wah lao...no time to do lorz...the miserable 10 min...xiao ah...den juz now may n i stayed in the library to do our ITP prj...kns...den we do do half way...jiating n rayn came lorz...but today luckily we used max lam's template...almost finish le...haha...(**yesh**)...(^_^)>

hihih.... testing testing