Choices
Life is about making choices. Thats why life sucks. I am so lost now esp when you have no idea what you really want to be next time. It's not about the issue that I can't fufil my ambition of being someone great. It's about what job you will do to make it as a career. The job that you really love doing it. Is that too much of me asking for this?
Felt especially depress today after going for the Career Fair at MPSH with Jol. The Career Fair got only a handful of companies and Government sector that were actually relevant to what we're studying now. E.g. MOE and A star. Whoa! It just made me felt that our degree is so worthless lor. Imagine me having my lousy results and was still thinking of working at A star. Hah! In my dreams!
Although working life is still roughly about 1 to 2 years away from me, but the worry for my future is overwhelming. Let's not talk about so far in the future. The next major choice I have to make soon is my Concentration. This thing have been worrying me since like last year when i used to blog about it. Wah Kao! I am still in my dilema after such a freaking long time. I decided to blog as this is one of my little crisis in my life now. I thought I would follow my interests in going to concentrate in Biology as I knew that was what I enjoyed studying the most. It was so fun learning Physiology and Biodiversity and these Bio modules I had score pretty well in it which gave me some confidence to want to do Bio. Somemore, heard from that Physio senior that Bio lessons were very slack just like Biod.
Yet, I am worried is that this concentration seems "worthless" as the focus now is always on Molecular Bio not the traditional one. Then I thought should I go and concentrate on MCB instead since it seems to be the most practical of all as it teaches all the very practical techniques that is more correlated to most labs and it seems to be the most rational choice as some of the modules were more alike as those we had learnt in Poly. But then, you can never compare Poly standards and Uni standards as my results for those Molecular Bio subjects are like shit compared to the good old days in Poly.
So, I decided to asked myself what job should I take on next time so that whatever I learnt now it would be more correlated to what I do next time. But I could only see blank. I even thought of going to do Accountancy in ACCA as part time student whilst working which I knew its going to be very tough. I have thought of all possibilities but nothing seems to be what I want for sure. I really don't know what is best for me and I envy those friends who had knew what they want in life.
I am beginning to hate the Science that I am doing now as initially when i entered NP to do BMS, I never knew that Science could be in this way. What I thought initially was that I want to do Biology in NP but obviously that was not the case after all. I had love Biology during Secondary School and now I kind of regret what I am studying now as it seems that we are going to have a very bleak future. Arts students could earn a general degree with such a easy life while Science students had to study like hell just to get an equivalent general degree. I hate it man!
I hate to make bad choices again in my life. This dilema is exactly just like 2 years ago when I was contemplating with which Uni to choose. Even now, I still question myself if I had made the right choice in studying Lifesciences and studying in NUS. It just scares me on that we got to choose our Concentration soon. Though this seems to be a minor issue, but it could vary your life to be in hell or in heaven in the next year at least.
