Random #7

I hate people cancelling out on me. BIG TIME.

Seriously, you don't cancel out on people on the very day of outing and what's more it is the end of the year, new year's eve.

It disrupts my plan, my schedule, my state of emotion. Those who've cared would probably know that my recent rants were mostly about cancellation of meetings, outings, appointments and whatever. I used to have a sister to fall back on and now I don't since we've just recently fall out.

So much anticipation have been put onto it. And what's left is sense of emptiness.

Random #6

Happen to come across this from a friend:

Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.-Hebrews 10:25

Random #5

I don't believe it is so easy to grow out of friendships as at least especially those I've put effort into it. Otherwise my effort would be wasted which I refuse to believe in.

But then again, why do I feel as if I'm dispensable? Hated that feeling. Just a thought, am I important to those whom I've deemed as important in my life? I hate being taken for granted and unappreciated. I guess I'm lacking of some sense of security. Emo-ing.

Random #4

Maybe it is true that the higher the expectations you've got, the greater disappointment you'll get once those expectations are not met. Again, am I having too much expectations? A date that have been pre-arranged at least 2 weeks in advance, by theory, should not be very difficult to adhere to. However, why is it that it has been arranged over and over again? To me, a date ahich I have deemed as "IMPORTANT", I would have noted it down somewhere in my hp or daily planner so that I wouldn't missed it. By doing so, the date would have been imprinted in my head subconsciously that I would be so looking forward to the date. However, if such "plan" have been disrupted by unexpected cause, I'm totally fustrated that it seems that the date apparently does not meant as much to others. Maybe it is just me who treats appointments like this too seriously. But, once appointments had been set way in advance, I seriously hated any excuses to cancel or postpone the date unless it is really emergency. Perhaps, it is because i have tried to push away my schedule just because of the date. Really very depressed this week. Seems that so many things that i didn't anticipated have happened.

Random #3

I hate people ignoring me. Really. I don't understand why you don't wanna initiate a conversation during an awkward silence. Or many awkward silences. I tried to think of all possible stuff to talk to but I just can't think of any. Maybe you've tried the same thing also. That is probably why the awkward silences. I find it hard to swallow the silence, it is either we've finish talking all possible stuff already under the sky or there isn't any much things we had in common in the first place and we've squeezed out all things to talk to. Seriously, it irritates the Hell out of me that you din initiate any things to talk to. I'm not acting dao, or u might think so. Fustrated? Yes I am. I don't know is it because it has been a month since we've talked? To me, a friend whom you can't hold a normal conversation with is really saddening and hurtful. For some acquaintances whom I don't know well or don't intend to, I seriously don't give a shit if I can hold a one to one conversation. But for someone I see as a friend, it matters to me. Really.

Random #2

A sudden surge of lonliness overwhelms me when I knew that I gotta lunch alone. Again. It reminds me of the scenario on last wednesday(9 Dec 09) when I saw the Evo Lab people lunching together. And that was when Denise commented on me being lonesome in her usual joking manner. I admit I felt lonesome then.

Well, as usual I always feel this way every few months when the abrupt sense of emptiness just fills my heart. It is really awful. One minute I feel nice talking to fellow labbies in PSL and the next moment, I felt sad that the bonding between fellow labbies in TEL is just not as strong as in PSL. Really, the working environment means a hell lot to me. That is why I like working in CSCC admin team. Although sometimes work can be really mundane but it is the people that make your working experience felt much better. Seriously.

More Japanese Series

Another conquest to be completed by next week: Cheating Hunter aka The Black Swindler - Kurosagi (诈欺猎人) and Itazura na Kiss aka It Started With a Kiss (淘气小亲亲 / 惡作劇之吻) anime version.

Wooo hooo~ Can't wait to finish watching 诈欺猎人 which is so freaking nice!! A very fast-paced and exciting show as you see how the male lead (Tomohisa Yamashita 山下智久) tries to cheat the "cheater" and he literally hunts down the cheaters. So funny as you can see the different image and characters that he tries to pull off while doing the cheating. However, a pity that his acting is more or less same as Operation Love (求婚大作战) but definately a much charming version as compared to his character in 求婚大作战. In addition, although the male lead in the comic is supposed to be portrayed as a very cool character but I guessed his acting had made the male lead to soften and have a trace of gentleness in him.

Holiday

This so called holiday have been dedicated to my honours project and a significant portion of it to japanese drama. Oh boy~ I'm so in love with jap drama. lol.


Some the series that I have finish watching include: Nodame Cantabile (交响情人梦) drama + Special edition in Paris + anime + anime in Paris, Love Shuffle, Proposal Daisakusen aka Operation Love (求婚大作战) drama + Special edition, Galileo (神探伽俐略) drama + Special edition, Change, Mr Brain (ongoing drama).


Perhaps the reason that I'm so crazy about Japanese drama is due to the fast paced of the drama. Jap drama is never set on a slow and draggy pace as the length of the drama is usually only 10 to 11 episodes unlike Korean Drama which can be pretty draggy towards the middle and end of the show. However, certain popular series would have a "Special Edition" which is a short spin-off or sequel to the drama so as to keep the audience in craze. Also, Takuya Kimura is still so good in his acting especially in Mr Brain and Change. Gosh, he's 37 and yet still looks young for his age. haha~


Yep, so I have been rushing through my remaining holidays to accomplish as many drama as possible before july when special semester starts. Since I'll be taking the field studies module this coming july, the intensive lectures to come will probably drains me off from watching more dramas due to the fact that I still have to juggle with fyp. The only thing that I'm looking forward is probably going to Tioman but the aftermath of the trip, I can anticipate that it is gonna be like shit. 'cos by then I will be overwhelmed by reports and presentation since the module is graded by continual assessment. I hope I will survive.

Alone

Being alone is something that I haven't learn to deal with. While most of the time I am pretty independent, let's say of there is something that I could do by myself, I will definately try and accomplish them alone instead of bothering others. However, being independent did not make myself resistant to be alone. It is not the physical aspect of being alone that bothers me, but it is the sudden strong surge of emptiness in me that scares me.


I hate being alone especially having to dine alone is one thing that I utterly detest. I think I might have said this before. I'm actually fine with the idea of watching movie by myself but just not eating alone. I guess I find eating alone is pathetic and is particularly upsetting for me 'cos it just make me feel vulnerable. Unlike in a movie theatre where darkness prevails, no one could really judge you on whether you're watching the movie yourself when you're in the midst of the crowd. The only pressure you could get is probably only from the ticketing counter when you're buying just one ticket.


Perhaps to most people, dining alone is not a big deal. But to me, eating with a great company of friends does make a hella difference. With friends, eating then becomes an enjoyable experience and it becomes something to look forward to. After a meal, the sugar rush in you will also make you feel darn "happy" and the consequence of it is making you feel more chatty. I feel that this is the time for bonding during the after meal chat. 'cos it does make me feel good after the meal till the extent that however dreadful the work is, you will sort of not hating it that much. Whereas all such feelings just dies down if I had to dine alone through circumstances and not by choice.


I know I really gotta work this out and prevent this difficulty from escalating into a more serious problem. But how? I really don't want to be consumed by such sense of emptiness.

Nodame Cantabile (交响情人梦)

This is my first japanese drama in the holidays and I must say that this is really a freaking awesome drama! Adapted from the japanese manga, the drama retain the hilarious note of the manga. Certain stupid scenes that are normally only portray in manga is also acted all out in the drama.


For myself, I started the drama first before I carry on to watch the anime. I've gotten to know about this drama few years ago while I was reading I-weekly then. Initially, I am quite skeptical as the reporter had introduce this show as a must-watch japanese drama at that time. Hence, this show is always at the back of my mind as I am always trying to find some time to watch this show. Well, this holiday is the best time for me to catch up on all my dramas since I'm not working at CSC due to my commitment to my honours project.


After one episode of the drama, I carried on to another, and another. The female lead, Nodame being a'lil special and unique in her way is one hilarious character that can bring out the laughter in you. I'm really amazed on how the female lead Juri Ueno bring out the character so well just like the anime. The male lead, Tamaki Hiroshi (玉木 宏), acted out as the talented but arrogant piano student Chiaki Shinichi who eventually learns to appreciate Nodame's unusal qualities. Since "Waterboys" the movie, I have noticed Tamaki Hiroshi cos he is quite cute in his acting in "Waterboys". And he is also darn cute ofcourse. lol


Well, if you all have time, just go and watch this show on tudou. Althought the main plot of the show is mainly talking about classical music, have an open mind while watching the show and I bet you will love classical music too!


This is the rough synopsis of the show:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nodame_Cantabile


p.s. After the show aired on 2006, a 2 episode special edition (sp) was also aired on 2008 which is a continuation of the drama which tells us more about the life of the two main leads in Paris furthering their studies. I'm also looking forward for the two-part movie sequels to the drama which have been announced of their release in end 2009 and spring 2010. Yeah!! =^^=

Random #1

There are some barriers you know you can never cross. And if that's the case, I'm happy to stay where I am now. When things seem to be stagnant and not changing for good, it will be the time to change myself. And I did.

Camp

It is the time of the year where FOC are starting again in NUS. With all the freshies screaming and cheering at their top of their voice, it can be darn annoying.

However, I guess deep in my heart it really reminds me of those days in Ngee Ann when I am just like them screaming and cheering like nobody's business. Those were the days which I truly enjoyed camps by being around with your peers and do some stupid stuff together. Those were the laughter that signifies youth and energy.

Seems like my youth is fading, and fine lines are surfacing. I really miss those laughters that we had together.

Finally.. it's over

Yeap. Finally got a little short break after my exams!! Woooo... I really needed this little short short break before embarking on my FYP which is actually just right after exams as the professors actually strongly recommended me to start my FYP asap. Ya so prior starting the FYP, I will have a little homework to do this week. Things like looking for the latest taxonomic revisions or monographs for the genera of invasive species that I will be dealing with. Guess I will be going back to the library tomorrow to do some research. *sob*

SO, for the past two days time really flies even though I'm not studying for exams. I guess, time always flies when they are the best right? Well, the best thing that happened during the two days is actually just being able to sleep till 9am in the morning and not having to wake up early in the morning at 5 or 6am which is my usual waking tine during the study and exam week. haha~ PAthetic right?.. Well, I should deserve such masochistic treatment during exams since I was the person who don't revise every now and then. And I am not proud of that seriously.

Since my last paper ends on 2nd May, Saturday, as usual I will have to go out and relax. I am so deprive of movies so have been planning to catch a movie after the exams with my sister, again. haha. Well, those who knows me would know that I am so into chick-flick nowadays, so I didn't want to miss the movie "17 Again". The movie was quite worth watching despite the fact that I paid 10 bucks on a weekend to catch the movie. As all of you should guessed, Zac Efron was really gorgeous and suave in the movie. The movie is generally light-hearted and after the show it really bring my mind off from the post-exam trauma and it's like you will feel that there's no cute guys out on the streets in SG. haha~

Spent almost half of my day going for tuition on Sunday. Whilst I was back from tuition, I was literally rushing to finish the drama series - "Legend of the Condor Heroes" that mom help me to record during exam week. So, not much interesting details except for me trying to glue to the tv as much as possible.

And today, I was glued to my computer watching the 2 episodes that I had missed on "Gossip Girl" and also playing fb for most of the afternoon. Later, going to head out for dinner at 文礼楼 at Jurong East for like an early celebration of Mother's Day and also the mark for the first pay my sis had gotten since she started working full time at the child care centre. Hee~ Dad and sis gonna chipping in for the bill! haha can't expect me to pay now cos I will gonna be freaking poor this coming hol since I'm not able to go back CSC to work le. hai~ gotta tighten up my wallet nowadays.

Monkey Behaviour

Documentaries by Sir David Attenborough have been part of my daily life since I embarked on my third year in uni. Majoring in Biology had enabled me to see biodiversity in a whole new perspective. Now, I am so into the documentaries that I will watch them every Wednesday in Okto Animal Night. Yesterday's episode of the Life in Mammals was very engaging in the sense its super related to my behavioral bio module. Instead of the example on birds shown during the lecture documentaries, yesterday was about monkeys exhibiting similar behaviour as some birds.


It's amazing that how different species of monkeys co-operate with each other for anti-predation alliances and not squabbling within themselves for food (since they are on different diets). Very entertaining as you'll see cases of social hierachy and infidelity amongst the monkeys which is so so similar to some of human's behaviour especially these are the intelligent mammals. They are indeed social climbers. lol~


http://www.videosift.com/video/David-Attenborough-Life-of-Mammals-9-The-Social-Climbers

Singlish

I have come across this pod cast by Mr Brown recently which is rather intriguing in regards of the recent article where MM lee says, Chinese S’poreans should focus on learning Mandarin well.


http://sg.news.yahoo.com/cna/20090317/tap-920-singaporeans-focus-learning-mand-231650b.html


Yes, I agree that we should buck up on our Mandrain since most of us did not speak proper Mandrain or English in school. Yet, how many of us are truly billinguals?


This is one of the master piece by Mr Brown recently that is absolutely hilarious despite I have already listened it for two times. Well, Mr Brown had portrayed the future SGreans who are unable to speak Singlish, but well-versed in both English and Chinese. Look at what happen in year 2020 when these future SGreans enter army without knowing the army language, that is basically Singlish.


However, I must warn you first that the pod cast may contain certain disturbing languages that is already sensored by them. Don't treat it too seriously as it's suppose to be light-hearted.
Enjoy!


http://www.mrbrownshow.com/2009/03/30/the-mrbrown-show-army-fighting-language/


However, if you have time you might want to read this paricular blog post which also have some rather interesting view about his thought on Singlish which unfortunately had pointed out some real life situation. So true.

http://myworldandme.wordpress.com/2009/03/18/mm-lee-says-speak-more-mandarin-i-say-speak-more-dialect-and-singlish/

But still, the ability to speak proper English would definately bring us more benefits in many situations especially in foreign land where nobody can understand our Singaporean language. This is what most of us knew deep down in our hearts although we might still be embracing Singlish in our daily life. Anyway, it's just my 2 cents worth. ;p

Handicapped

I am feeling really depress after the doucumentary presentation in behavioural bio. Its not about the comments regarding the quality our group's documentary 'cos we are not experts in making videos and we dun have the start of the art recording devises unlike one of the group which had the help of a sony HD camecorder . Rather I just felt I am damn stupid. Firstly, I had no questions in mind in the Q n A session for the group presenting. Secondly, some of the questions that the class had for our group, are some questions that I might not have thought about it. Hence, even the class posted their questions to our group, I did not really answer as one the group member is rather good at answering such questions and he got the facts well.


It just dawned on me why is that I did not have any questions to ask? Is it because I did not understand what the documentaries of other group was saying or I simply did not have a questioning mind. Obviously, I belong to the latter. Being a Science student, I ought to be ashamed of myself. Some of the TAs and Dr Lim had quite good questions regarding the aspect on how the behaviour of the animal relates to conservation issues. Such concept have been brought up in class during the previous lecture where we had 2 hrs of documentary. Yet, I am too slow to see such interlinks as I am not accustomed to think "out of the box" which is especially crucial in the topic of conservation.


These real level 4 bio students caught the concept really fast when they started blasted on the implications and adaptive functions of behaviour. Its not just about the fact that I am a level 3 bio student taking a level 4 core module that puts me at a disadvantage (*eventhough you do meet some of the legendary names in the "U05XXXXX" cohort taking the module*), rather I am feeling increasingly handicapped in my language abilities. I know I am not good in expressing myself be it in terms of writing or oral skills. This probably explains why I prefer to keep quiet and not ask any questions fearing that my poor language skills would be the laughing stock of others. This feeling of insecure made me question my ability if I can make it through my Honours year. I know I gotta put in all my best in my final year, yet I can anticipate that my effort might just not be enough to write a good thesis since I knew I lacked of the analytical capability that these current level 4 seniors have.


The most sadenning of all is that perhaps what I can do is only to memorise information that is readily available in the open-book exam. Even with this only capability of mine is now failing to work as time passes by.

Stress Management

What would u do in times of stress? When I am feeling some sort of stressed-out, I will buy more random stuff which ranges from stationaries, some IT gadget to food. However, if I am really too stress and ultimately getting ill from meeting up certain major dead lines such as exams, I will be freaking in a "bo-chap" mood. Such emotions will always arise in every semestral exams and the consequence of such actions ranges from no make-up (not even with foundation) to school to can't be bothered to go to canteen to have lunch.


I must say that some of the random stuff that I always buy is really redundant. 'cos although I know that my current pencil case is too small to put more stationaries and the fact that I have too much stationaries at home that could fit into my teeny-weeny pencil case, I still end up buying more pens and pilot highlighter refills from the co-op. It seems that I always feel that I will always need more pens for exams and that I got this feeling that the new pens that I am going to buy would enables me to write much better and faster during the exams.


Also, very recently I just bought a new SD card and card reader for my camera. Although I know that I'm not really in need of such gadgets, but I still buy it. Such examples include my impulse in buying a 2GB thumbdrive. I must admit such impulse will only be acted out if these IT stuff are in promotion la... when a 2GB SD card cost only $9.90 and a 2GB thumbdrive only cost about around 12 bucks at most. I am not too sure if these are good deals, 'cos in my opinion they're rather cheap already. And this mindset probably sets me buying such random stuff when I feel I need to really buy something.


But all these are not so sinful as compared to me dropping by the supermarket near my house to but tidbits. I must admit during the holidays when I spent most of the time working, I would drop by the supermarket after working to buy tidbits. Although working in part-time admin position is not as stress as studying, I still find it physically draining at the end of the day. Hence, thats when I started the habit of buying tidbits. Obviously, such unhealthy habits did have an undesirable effect on my weight. The longer I work (meaning as a promoter or admin assistant), the more weight I gained. So i figure out that the money that I have earned correlates to the weight that I have gained. 'cos beside the stuff that I buy, I would spent most of my remaining salary in eating out with frens and also tidbits! Gosh!


But I must comment myself that from starting of this sem, I have not buy tidbits for quite a long time. So, I am now in a ''quit a tidbit" program initiated by myself. Hopefully, I can lose some pounds from it. Subsequently, I am going to launch a "quit soft drinks" program. Wish me luck!


Oh yes, I am going to buy one more red and blue pen in co-op later 'cos tmr is my bahasa test.

Study

I really have to start studying now especially for my Bahasa Indonesia. I am really clueless on how to write the essay for the coming test. Hence, there's the previous post written in BI which was my little effort in trying to practice some writing.


Yes, I know i haven't been blogging for too long. But, there isn't anything interesting in my life to blog about anyway. Haha. It is already week 7 of school any yet for the past 6 weeks, I have been going out watching movies. oh dear?... I am really so into the movies. I practically didn't want to miss any good movies. Well, my best movie partner have been my adik perempuan, my younger sister, or else it would be me myself watching the movie alone. I don't see anything wrong in watching movies by myself since you can't really talk in the cinema. haha.


Yup, i gotta really brush up my English since I need to write good thesis for the graduating year. Hence, I would need to put in some effort in blogging in the attempt of practising my writing skills.

Belajar

Saya di kampus tetapi hari ini tidak kelas. Saya sedang belajar Bahasa Indonesia di perpustakaan karena minggu depan ada ujian. Saya bisa berbahasa Indonesia dengan lumayan tapi tidak tahu menulis esai. Mengapa?

Saya tidak waktu cukup karena minggu lalu, saya pergi ke bioskop dengan adik perempuan saya. Kami menonton film bersama-sama dengan Bennie dan Jing Yun. Sesudah movie, kami dan Johanna pergi ke restoran di "The Cathay" makan malam. Saya suka bercakap-cakap dengan teman-teman saya. Minggu lalu, Saya punya menonton tiga movie baru. (Such as, He's just not that into you, K20 dan Suspect X.) "Suspect X" dan "He's just not that into you" itu bagus sekali. Saya senang sekali menonton film.

Saya ingin sekali pandai Bahasa Indonesia dan Inggris. Saya mau menulis thesis tahun depan tapi bisa berbahasa Inggris kurang lancar!