Handicapped

I am feeling really depress after the doucumentary presentation in behavioural bio. Its not about the comments regarding the quality our group's documentary 'cos we are not experts in making videos and we dun have the start of the art recording devises unlike one of the group which had the help of a sony HD camecorder . Rather I just felt I am damn stupid. Firstly, I had no questions in mind in the Q n A session for the group presenting. Secondly, some of the questions that the class had for our group, are some questions that I might not have thought about it. Hence, even the class posted their questions to our group, I did not really answer as one the group member is rather good at answering such questions and he got the facts well.


It just dawned on me why is that I did not have any questions to ask? Is it because I did not understand what the documentaries of other group was saying or I simply did not have a questioning mind. Obviously, I belong to the latter. Being a Science student, I ought to be ashamed of myself. Some of the TAs and Dr Lim had quite good questions regarding the aspect on how the behaviour of the animal relates to conservation issues. Such concept have been brought up in class during the previous lecture where we had 2 hrs of documentary. Yet, I am too slow to see such interlinks as I am not accustomed to think "out of the box" which is especially crucial in the topic of conservation.


These real level 4 bio students caught the concept really fast when they started blasted on the implications and adaptive functions of behaviour. Its not just about the fact that I am a level 3 bio student taking a level 4 core module that puts me at a disadvantage (*eventhough you do meet some of the legendary names in the "U05XXXXX" cohort taking the module*), rather I am feeling increasingly handicapped in my language abilities. I know I am not good in expressing myself be it in terms of writing or oral skills. This probably explains why I prefer to keep quiet and not ask any questions fearing that my poor language skills would be the laughing stock of others. This feeling of insecure made me question my ability if I can make it through my Honours year. I know I gotta put in all my best in my final year, yet I can anticipate that my effort might just not be enough to write a good thesis since I knew I lacked of the analytical capability that these current level 4 seniors have.


The most sadenning of all is that perhaps what I can do is only to memorise information that is readily available in the open-book exam. Even with this only capability of mine is now failing to work as time passes by.

Stress Management

What would u do in times of stress? When I am feeling some sort of stressed-out, I will buy more random stuff which ranges from stationaries, some IT gadget to food. However, if I am really too stress and ultimately getting ill from meeting up certain major dead lines such as exams, I will be freaking in a "bo-chap" mood. Such emotions will always arise in every semestral exams and the consequence of such actions ranges from no make-up (not even with foundation) to school to can't be bothered to go to canteen to have lunch.


I must say that some of the random stuff that I always buy is really redundant. 'cos although I know that my current pencil case is too small to put more stationaries and the fact that I have too much stationaries at home that could fit into my teeny-weeny pencil case, I still end up buying more pens and pilot highlighter refills from the co-op. It seems that I always feel that I will always need more pens for exams and that I got this feeling that the new pens that I am going to buy would enables me to write much better and faster during the exams.


Also, very recently I just bought a new SD card and card reader for my camera. Although I know that I'm not really in need of such gadgets, but I still buy it. Such examples include my impulse in buying a 2GB thumbdrive. I must admit such impulse will only be acted out if these IT stuff are in promotion la... when a 2GB SD card cost only $9.90 and a 2GB thumbdrive only cost about around 12 bucks at most. I am not too sure if these are good deals, 'cos in my opinion they're rather cheap already. And this mindset probably sets me buying such random stuff when I feel I need to really buy something.


But all these are not so sinful as compared to me dropping by the supermarket near my house to but tidbits. I must admit during the holidays when I spent most of the time working, I would drop by the supermarket after working to buy tidbits. Although working in part-time admin position is not as stress as studying, I still find it physically draining at the end of the day. Hence, thats when I started the habit of buying tidbits. Obviously, such unhealthy habits did have an undesirable effect on my weight. The longer I work (meaning as a promoter or admin assistant), the more weight I gained. So i figure out that the money that I have earned correlates to the weight that I have gained. 'cos beside the stuff that I buy, I would spent most of my remaining salary in eating out with frens and also tidbits! Gosh!


But I must comment myself that from starting of this sem, I have not buy tidbits for quite a long time. So, I am now in a ''quit a tidbit" program initiated by myself. Hopefully, I can lose some pounds from it. Subsequently, I am going to launch a "quit soft drinks" program. Wish me luck!


Oh yes, I am going to buy one more red and blue pen in co-op later 'cos tmr is my bahasa test.

Study

I really have to start studying now especially for my Bahasa Indonesia. I am really clueless on how to write the essay for the coming test. Hence, there's the previous post written in BI which was my little effort in trying to practice some writing.


Yes, I know i haven't been blogging for too long. But, there isn't anything interesting in my life to blog about anyway. Haha. It is already week 7 of school any yet for the past 6 weeks, I have been going out watching movies. oh dear?... I am really so into the movies. I practically didn't want to miss any good movies. Well, my best movie partner have been my adik perempuan, my younger sister, or else it would be me myself watching the movie alone. I don't see anything wrong in watching movies by myself since you can't really talk in the cinema. haha.


Yup, i gotta really brush up my English since I need to write good thesis for the graduating year. Hence, I would need to put in some effort in blogging in the attempt of practising my writing skills.

Belajar

Saya di kampus tetapi hari ini tidak kelas. Saya sedang belajar Bahasa Indonesia di perpustakaan karena minggu depan ada ujian. Saya bisa berbahasa Indonesia dengan lumayan tapi tidak tahu menulis esai. Mengapa?

Saya tidak waktu cukup karena minggu lalu, saya pergi ke bioskop dengan adik perempuan saya. Kami menonton film bersama-sama dengan Bennie dan Jing Yun. Sesudah movie, kami dan Johanna pergi ke restoran di "The Cathay" makan malam. Saya suka bercakap-cakap dengan teman-teman saya. Minggu lalu, Saya punya menonton tiga movie baru. (Such as, He's just not that into you, K20 dan Suspect X.) "Suspect X" dan "He's just not that into you" itu bagus sekali. Saya senang sekali menonton film.

Saya ingin sekali pandai Bahasa Indonesia dan Inggris. Saya mau menulis thesis tahun depan tapi bisa berbahasa Inggris kurang lancar!