::Disenchanted World::

currently feeling damn xianz...its like the past few wks...i juz felt tt i missed the siao siao pamela...cos i think the uncontrolled laughter tt i once hv was now lost...i dunno y am i feeling like this...but datz wat i m gg thru...i missed tt pt of me...though ofcourse i do laugh at those funny pple round me esp pple like cabin in gl...but its juz tt those kinda of uncontrollable laughter...i kinda of missed it...i dunno if i m missing tt kind of feeling or miss the pple tt hv contributed to my joy...

i felt lost now...currently thinking of SHE's song--only lonely...ya mayb i do feels a little lonely...
(**Oh...f***...i juz deleted wat i ve already written...kaoz...gd...nvr mind i shall start again...**)
ya...i felt terrible lorz...i ve got nth to say but to laugh at my stupidity...i noe watz the reality...but i juz dun hv the courage to face the reality...i chose not to cos...at least this gave me a little hope...though tt was a illusion i noe...cos i noe tt i ve gotten misleaded esp right frm the start in 08/08/03 tt particular fri b4 national day...but at least tt illusion gave me the strength tt i desperately needs...i noe the day of facing the reality wld arrived n it wld be tt i wld be forced to do so...n when tt day arrives...i wld not be like wat m i now....i wld not be living in the reality liao....however a little piece of my heart of my heart is always with him...
u may not understand wat m i saying...but its ok...as long as i alone understands it...its ok...