Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Alone

Being alone is something that I haven't learn to deal with. While most of the time I am pretty independent, let's say of there is something that I could do by myself, I will definately try and accomplish them alone instead of bothering others. However, being independent did not make myself resistant to be alone. It is not the physical aspect of being alone that bothers me, but it is the sudden strong surge of emptiness in me that scares me.


I hate being alone especially having to dine alone is one thing that I utterly detest. I think I might have said this before. I'm actually fine with the idea of watching movie by myself but just not eating alone. I guess I find eating alone is pathetic and is particularly upsetting for me 'cos it just make me feel vulnerable. Unlike in a movie theatre where darkness prevails, no one could really judge you on whether you're watching the movie yourself when you're in the midst of the crowd. The only pressure you could get is probably only from the ticketing counter when you're buying just one ticket.


Perhaps to most people, dining alone is not a big deal. But to me, eating with a great company of friends does make a hella difference. With friends, eating then becomes an enjoyable experience and it becomes something to look forward to. After a meal, the sugar rush in you will also make you feel darn "happy" and the consequence of it is making you feel more chatty. I feel that this is the time for bonding during the after meal chat. 'cos it does make me feel good after the meal till the extent that however dreadful the work is, you will sort of not hating it that much. Whereas all such feelings just dies down if I had to dine alone through circumstances and not by choice.


I know I really gotta work this out and prevent this difficulty from escalating into a more serious problem. But how? I really don't want to be consumed by such sense of emptiness.

1 comment:

グリー said...

やっぱり新しい出逢いはグリーやモバゲーよりスタービーチ!フィーリングの合う異性を探し、すぐに遊びにいこう